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(Self Portrait on 6th Wedding Anniversary)
As I was painting today, some thoughts came to me and I want to write them down for the people I love. I know I shall not live very long. But I wonder, is that sad? Is a celebration more beautiful because it lasts longer? And my life is a celebration, a short, intense celebration. My powers of perception are becoming finer, as if I were supposed to absorb everything in the few years that are still to be offered me, everything. My sense of smell is unbelievably keen at present. With almost every breath I take, I get a new sense and understanding of the linden tree, of ripened wheat, of hay, and of mignonette. I suck everything up into me. And if only now love would blossom for me, before I depart; and if I can paint three good pictures, then I shall go gladly, with flowers in my hair.
Paula Modersohn-Becker, July 26, 1900.
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si ea a murit la 31 de ani, dupa o nastere... par morbida cu alegerile astea :-) dar de fapt am vrut sa pun aceste ganduri ale ei, care exprima exact contrariul. mi-este foarte draga Paula. am citit ca este prima femeie care a pictat nuduri de femeie, in toata istoria.
RăspundețiȘtergerevai,cat mi-a placut! nu stiu daca sunt crezuta,cu atatea semne de exclamatie si atatea interjectii,nuami ca nu stiu si alte mijloace de a putea innoi extazul in exprimare. dar,vai,cat mi-a mai placut!de putine ori am simtit ca sunt exact,dar exact - exact gandurile mele, trairea si convingerea mea. si simt atat de des asta, ca , indiferent cat flori s-ar aduna intr-un buchet invizibil pe care incerc sa il port cu grija in lume,culegandu-l din ea, de fapt, niciodata, oricat de multe ori de putine ar fi petalele care lipsesc, lipsa lor nu este reala,el nu va fi niciodata incomplet. florile acestea sunt egale,sunt unice,e drept,si poate ani mai multi ar insemna acumulari de unicitati,insa simt ca nimic nu s-ar pierde, da,asa simt, asa cred! ca o lasa insa,as vrea ca acele ultime momente sa nu fie golite , din cauza unei siferinte prea mari,de aceste plimbari in care adun flori,florile. atata tot.
RăspundețiȘtergereeste citatul cel mai frumos!-dar, cand spun asta,cand am vazut aceasta postare asta am simtit: este ,in acelasi timp, o jale, alaturi de frumusete blanda,o jale care curge intr-un pahar pe care il privesc, potirul cu dureros de dulcea frumusete. neasemuit.